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Many Much Thanks

Hello, all!

First off, I’ve got some news about the rerelease of The Gem of Meruna. I’m not going to do a full edit, or any extra editing, really. If I do, I’m pretty sure I’ll have to redo the copyright registration. So, unless I find a shit ton of errors as I’m going through it (picking out excerpts for marketing and doing the formatting), I’m going to leave it alone.

It’s already been edited and published in its current state, so it’s fine. I have to keep telling myself that, because I’m sorely tempted to do a major overhaul. You see, for whatever fucking reason, I wrote it in past tense.

Which…isn’t like any of my other stuff.

I don’t know why I did it.

But I did.

And I want so badly to switch it to present tense.

But the idea of redoing the copyright registration is less appealing than leaving it how I intended it from the start.

So, that speeds up the rerelease process. All I have to do is format and pick excerpts. New cover art is under way. Then, I can order proofs, and pick ARC readers. (That’s when I’ll set a release date, btw.)

I just want to do this right.

The first time around was such a mess, and I knew nothing about the publishing industry or what it takes to make it as an author, at the time. Not that I know all the ins and outs of this industry, now, but I know a hell of a lot more than I did five years ago. (I know that if a publisher is going to charge you to print your book, run the other way, as fast as possible.)

And not that I’m “making it” as an author, just yet, either. My day job is still 100% necessary. But one day, I’d like writing to be my job.

So I have to take the steps to do this right. This time, and with all my future book releases.

Of course, it helps that I’ve found a lot of writing friends online. I’ve learned so much from the people in the writing groups I’ve joined recently.

Which brings me to my next subject.

Thank you for reading this.

I start all of my blogs as if I’m addressing a lot of people, and I always assume that to be false. It doesn’t seem real that anyone would want to read my silly little ramblings, and I just assume that maybe three people read these blogs.

But, here lately, people have been mentioning stuff from my blogs in conversations and comments and messages…

I kinda had one of those “Holy shit, maybe I can actually do this” moments when I realized people are actually reading my blogs. I genuinely had no idea. The only comments I get are spam from gambling websites and shit. Lol. Obviously, those get deleted. (You guys know you can comment, right? Ask questions, say things, whatever.)

Anyway, author platforms, including blogs, are super important for connecting with readers and for networking and meeting other writers. I’m not great with technology, or socializing, so it typically feels pretty alien to me, like I’m flailing my arms and shouting at the screen and…not really getting anywhere.

So, to those of you who read these posts, those who comment or message on Instagram or Facebook, who talk to me in person about my books and my blog, and especially those of you who’ve read my books, those who’ve taken the time to leave reviews…Thank you!

Thank you, so freaking much!

I always doubt myself and my ability to get anywhere with my writing, but the support you’ve all shown me makes me think it might be possible. It means the world to me.

To friends and family, to my husband, letting me rant and ramble about books and publishing…Thank you! I need to vent and hear my ideas out loud, sometimes, so thanks for putting up with it all. Lol.

Well, for now, I think I’m going to sign off, and get some sleep. I had another 12 hour shift today, and I really pushed myself. I built 12 hours worth of tires in 9 hours, and it really took it out of me.

I just wanted to get this posted before bed because, well, that’s my routine. Plus, I’ll be out running errands all day when I get up, so there won’t be time.

I’ll be back next Sunday night/Monday morning. I’m on Instagram and Facebook through the week, though. And, I’m trying to get stuff up and going, so my Amazon author page is in the works, as well. Links are down below.

For now…

Keep reading. Keep writing.

Later.

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Imposter…

Hello, all!

Welcome!

So, I’m pretty sure we all know that marketing is important when it comes to…you know…selling books. Publicity is key.

But guess what I suck at?

Marketing.

Because it involves people. Real people.

And I’m terrible with real people. I always have been. Yes, I mean always. Even back in preschool.

So, I started preschool a year early, to socialize, so, all in all, I did 2 years. (Sounds like jail time when I say it that way. Lol.) But, anyway, I didn’t talk to the teachers until halfway through the second year.

Then, it came time to do the placement testing for kindergarten. I wouldn’t talk to them, either. They thought I needed special education because I wouldn’t acknowledge them. My mom asked me all their questions, I did fine, and they put me in standard kindergarten…

Where I didn’t talk to the teacher for the first 3/4 of the year.

I was a quiet ball of anxiety.

And I stayed that way…

I have never been good with people. Not real ones.

I’m good with the ones I make up. Lol. That doesn’t help with marketing, though. Which brings us back around to something that happened today.

I was talking with a friend at work today, someone I’m reasonably comfortable talking to. We ended up on the topic of books, which surprised me. I didn’t know he was a book person, and never really would have assumed so.

I asked what genres he likes, feeling my way into the topic.

Because, if he said he only likes non-fiction or young adult detective stuff…he clearly wouldn’t like my books. But he hops genres when he reads, just like I do when I write. So, I did the thing that all authors have to do if they want to get anywhere with their books.

I mentioned them. I brought them to the attention of another human.

Now, that doesn’t seem like a big deal. But…

Given my inability to properly interact with people, it was a big thing for me. I’m one of those people who always undershares or overshares. There is no happy medium. I almost always feel out of place in groups (the only exception being if I’m super comfortable with everyone present AND I’m feeling social).

I’m always looking for expressions on their faces to say that whatever I’ve just said or done was the wrong thing to say or do. I’m always worried that the awkward end of a conversation (you know, when a conversation flattens out, and everyone says little meaningless things like, “yeah, no kidding,” or “Right?” until everyone just falls silent…) will happen after I speak. Because if I’m the last one to speak in that situation, I feel like maybe my inflection was wrong, or maybe I missed something earlier on that made my version of that meaningless comment somehow wrong.

And it doesn’t matter that those weird little breaks happen naturally in conversations with even the closest of friends. It just automatically becomes a stress point. I end up analyzing how I said whatever little nonsense line, and whether I waited too long to say it, and whether it actually made sense in the context, and…so many stupid things to worry about.

Basically, I have no confidence in my ability to interact with people, even in the most mundane situations.

Now, when it comes to promoting my work, you have to add the performance aspect of it. Because, when it comes down to it, writing is a skill that you have to hone. Books are, in their own way, a little stage that showcases our skill level as writers.

And, despite the positive feedback from beta readers and reviewers alike, I still doubt my ability to write. Imposter syndrome is a very real thing, and I feel it often, telling myself constantly that I’m not a real writer, or that I’m not actually good enough, or that I’ll never make it out of the factory to write full time (that last one is backed up by statistics, which makes it harder to push away).

That’s an unbelievably common thing in any creative profession, but that doesn’t make it easier to deal with.

Then, when it comes time to say, “Hey, you like to read. Look at my books,” (hopefully a little smoother than that) the imposter thing and the social anxiety kick into high gear. Suddenly, the idea of drawing attention to my work becomes this insurmountable obstacle of talking to someone about something I made, telling them that it’s good enough for them to pay attention to, to pay for, when…on the inside, I’m terrified that it’s actually garbage.

So, today, when my friend and I were discussing books, and I found out that he likes some of the genres I write in, I didn’t tell him the names of the books that are out. I didn’t tell him where to find them.

I have business cards in my wallet, which was about 70 feet from me at the time. They have my website on them, which has both of my published books listed on it (oh, in case you didn’t know, my books are on the published works page of this site…I probably should have mentioned that…)

I didn’t go get a card for him, though.

Instead, I let the conversation drop, and went back to building tires when my materials were brought to me.

Then, for 45 minutes, I berated myself over it, because I’m never going to get anywhere with my books if I don’t tell people they exist. (Hint. Hint. Any of you facing similar issues…You have to tell people.)

I dug a business card out, and had it sitting on a shelf near my machine, ready to give him. But I didn’t freaking do it. At one point, I even gave it up, and put the damn thing back in my wallet.

But why the fuck did I get them, if I’m never going to give them to people?

Finally, at the very end of the fucking shift, after enough mental yelling to stuff the anxiety down, I dug it back out. I walked over to him, with the express intention of giving him this little card with my website on it. Forced myself to hand it to him, and squeaked out some lame bit about, “If you want to check them, out, my website is on the back. If not, I’ll never know the difference.”

Because I’m fucking terrible at this. And that’s someone I can talk to on a normal basis. If he were a stranger…it wouldn’t have happened. Once the initial opportunity passed, it would have been done.

But today, I pushed past it, and did something (in person) to tell someone about my books. Lame as the execution was, I did it.

Even if he never looks at my books, even if he throws that card on a desk or table at home, and forgets all about it, I’m calling this a win.

And I’m going to have to have more of them, and get some practice in. I have plans to actually do ( *gasp*) events in the future. I should have been doing them all along, but…well, everything before this paragraph pretty much tells you why I haven’t.

I also need to get more books out before then, though. As you know if you’ve been following my blog, or if you’ve checked my works in progress page, there are a lot of irons in the fire.

I’m just about done with the initial edit of Salt and Silver, then some adjustments on The Gem of Meruna to get it ready for rerelease. I’ve got some ideas for a cover for one of the upcoming fantasy novels.

All in all, things are moving forward at a decent pace. I stress over the speed, of course, because I worry that I’m underperforming. (Go fucking figure.)

But, it’s getting there. I just have to keep pushing onward.

As do all of you. If there’s something you want…make it happen. It won’t fall into your lap. Life doesn’t really do handouts, at least, not in my experience.

So push forward.

Keep reading. Keep writing.

Later.

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Handle with Care

Hello, all!

It would seem that my overactive mind is not the only thing rejecting this “just editing, no writing” phase that I’m in. My body is, as well. Lol.

For those of you who don’t know, I work in a factory. I operate a machine the size of a small house to produce tires. Now, apart from the occasional breaks to go load more material into the machine (which means pushing things, by hand, which weigh anywhere from 200 lbs to 2500 lbs), I do the same 75 second cycle over and over again. It involves a great deal of repetitive hand movements, and a lot of walking in circles from one part of the machine to another.

Repetitive hand movements tend to cause problems, and my wrists have started this blasted aching…possibly tendinitis.

Well, this week, I was off an extra day (because anniversary). My wrists felt so much better. I chalked it up to a combination of being off work an extra day and not typing (because editing is mostly staring at the words, and agonizing over whether or not they’re correct). But now, after working only 32 hours this week, my wrists feel even worse than they did before.

I think the typing involved in actively writing a book may have actually been helping me. I think it was stretching my hands and wrists in a different way, easing the tension/inflammation from work. And now that I’m just editing, that stretching isn’t happening. And it’s worse.

By the way, I do the recommended stretches at the beginning of each shift for my wrists. I also do them throughout the shift, as the ache progresses.

I just really hope I don’t end up having to have surgery or something. Carpal tunnel surgery is a pretty common thing where I work, and it would basically put me out of commission for typing for a while, or at least relegate me to the slow hunt-and-peck method of one handed typing.

Ain’t nobody got time for that.

Anyway, I’ve made really good progress on the initial edit of Salt and Silver, and I think The Gem of Meruna is shorter. So, the final revisions for it should be quicker. But I may have to start writing alongside my edits.

Ya know.

For my health. Lol.

*shakes head*

Factory work is so hard on the body. Steel toes on concrete floors for 8 to 12 hours is bad enough. Then, there’s the repetition…

And my body is stupid enough on its own.

I never have enough iron, vitamin d, b12, or calcium. I have eczema, so my skin is fucking dumb, picking random patches to just suddenly become unbearably itchy when I’m stressed. I have a circulatory issue called Raynaud’s Syndrome. Basically, the arteries in my wrists and ankles overreact to cold and stress. They constrict, cutting off blood to my hands and feet. Super fun. As is the ice bath test used to diagnose the damn thing.

(They measured the temperature of my hands, submerged them in ice water for 10 minutes, then measured the temperature once a minute for the following 20 minutes. Those numbers were compared to the warm up of a normal person’s hands. It was absolutely agonizing.)

Minor scoliosis (super minor) and early onset arthritis top it all off quite nicely.

Though, the factory work, and the muscle I had to build up to do my job, actually helped the arthritis. Mine is mostly in my knees. Since I have to use my legs to push all the super heavy shit, my legs are quite a bit stronger. The extra muscles have stabilized my knees, and taken some of the burden off the joints.

So, I guess it isn’t all bad for me. Lol.

But, apparently, just editing and not writing is bad for my health. Lol.

So, though I’m two thirds of the way through my first edit of Salt and Silver, I’m going to have to write alongside it, and see if my theory pans out. Not that I’m at all disappointed by this. Lol. I already miss writing, and it’s only been a couple weeks. Maybe a week and a half.

Anyway, stay tuned for more complaining and ranting next week. Lol. In the meantime, I’m just gonna push on through. As usual.

Because I have shit to do, and no one’s gonna do it for me.

So, in a similar vein, do what you gotta do, and get your shit done. Lol.

And, as usual…

Keep reading. Keep writing.

Later.

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Then Comes the Crash

Hello, all!

Now, those of you who follow me on social media (thank you!) probably already know this, but I finished the first draft of Salt and Silver!

God, it’s exciting. I can’t even begin to express how much of a high it is to finish writing a book. (Not without taking absolutely forever about it, and, lets face it, that would get pretty boring for you guys.) The feeling of accomplishment is incredibly overwhelming, though.

Of course, now there’s the problem of…the crash.

You see, finishing a book is huge. But I’ve spent the past 4 or 5 months (since the first or second week of January) in the minds of these characters. I’ve lived and breathed their lives and breaths.

Ness, Nolan, and Elias have become so real to me, as do the characters in every book I write. And they have to, really. My writing is deeply psychological and very emotional. I have to flesh the characters out, have to know what drives them. I have to figure out their deepest desires, their coping mechanisms, their humor, the things that make them nervous…

All of it.

And by the time you do that, they’re like real people.

Add to that the fact that I’m a pantser, and it’s basically like the beginning of a friendship (or rivalry, in the case of villains). Every time I sit down with these characters, I learn something new. Every time I think through their lives, I figure out something new in their past that explains the personality they’ve taken on.

Yes, I know. I can practically hear the scoffs and see the eye rolls I’m sure some of you are giving me. I’m perfectly aware that most people who do a lot of outlining and plotting think that all this pantser mumbo jumbo is…well, mumbo jumbo. “You made the characters. You control their personality and their actions.”

Yeah, I do. To a degree.

But for the sake of realism, I have to treat them like people. The only alternative is plotting everything ahead of time, and feeling like I’m suffocating. If they each have their own code, their own personality, then writing them by the seat of my pants is easier. Because there are certain things they would, or would not, do.

Plus, much like real people, fictional people cause all sorts of drama for themselves when left to their own devices.

But treating them like real people has a price. Now, there’s the emptiness left behind by getting their stories out. Because, now, I don’t have to learn more about them. I don’t have to figure out their lives. I don’t have to learn what these friends like to eat, or why they like the sound of the birds in the woods beyond their cottage window, or why they feel guilty all the time.

It’s all done. It’s all figured out.

These friends, in their own way, have moved on. Which makes this “crash” seem a lot lonelier than I intended it to. Lol.

And since I’m going to be editing for a while, rather than starting another story immediately, I’m not building a new world or creating people. It’s honestly…a bit boring. Lol. 12 hours shifts go by so much faster when I have a story spinning through my brain. My mind is desperate to work on something, but…I can’t edit while operating heavy machinery.

Not if I expect to come out the other side of the experience with all my parts attached…I kinda have to watch what I’m doing. Staring at a screen is just a bad idea. Lol.

It’s not like I don’t have ideas, though. I intend to finish The Regonia Chronicles this year, and then there’s Second to None, the thriller that I’m dying to get started on.

But if I don’t do some editing, and get all this other shit done, I’ll never get any of these stories out to be read. Between the rerelease of The Gem of Meruna, Salt and Silver, and the other completed standalone novels (I specify standalone here, because technically book one of Regonia is done, but I’m not far enough with the series to even think about a release for that one yet), I have five books…just…waiting.

And since I’ve decided to self-publish, all they’re waiting on…is me.

We’ll see how stir crazy I get, not writing. It genuinely drives me batty. I may have to do a chapter here and there for Regonia, just to maintain my sanity.

For now, though, I’m about five chapters into the preliminary edits of Salt and Silver. (I have the edits for the next couple chapters handwritten, though, because I worked on it in the cafeteria at work. So…sorta seven chapters into the edit.) This is just the “I put that in to fill a plothole, so don’t forget, take it out, and fuck up the story” edit. It’s also the “Why the fuck did I choose that word?” edit…

Basically, just catching wonky flow and typos while it’s all still fresh in my mind.

I have to tighten it up, basically. Not that my first drafts are absolute monstrosities, or anything, but they certainly need work.

Then, I’ll let it sit while I get The Gem of Meruna ready. Then, back into the minds of Ness, Nolan, and Elias in the world of Salt and SIlver for more edits. Then…drum roll…writing something else. Eventually, some more polishing for Salt and SIlver, and then it’ll be off to beta readers.

So, in case you thought books were quick and easy…They’re not. Lol. There are so many steps involved.

Now, I write fast . The last two books I’ve written took about 4-5 months each, while working full time, with overtime almost every week. Hell, since I started taking my writing seriously in 2014, I’ve written six complete novels, a novella, and a lot of short stories. (RIP the novel I wrote in college, that was lost when the laptop and the external hard drive it was backed up on…fried.)

But there are so many things to do to get a story truly ready for readers. Writing it is only the beginning.

Anyway, though…

That pretty much gets you all up to speed with where I’m at, right now. I’ll set a release date for The Gem of Meruna once I get through some of the updating, and I’ll keep you posted.

For now…

Keep reading. Keep writing.

Later.

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TV, Movies, and Other Sacrificial Lambs

Hello, all!

Today, i wanted to give budding writers, readers, and just plain old curious folks a little glimpse of the sacrifices made to write. Because writing a book, let alone multiple books, is not a passive process. it takes time, a hell of a lot of patience, and a ton of work.

So, here goes.

One of the first things to go, for me, was tv and movie time. I usually watch a bit with my husband while we eat, but beyond that…it’s just background noise.. we occasionally have a binge day, where I set my writing aside for a few hours, but that’s like…every couple weeks.

Now, for me, that was an easy thing to do. I’d already sacrificed these poor creatures to the OCDemons when I was a kid. Remotes were “dirty,” as was the couch, even though nothing in the house I grew up in was ever all that dirty. It just violated the rules set forth by my OCD.

So, tv and movies were never a huge part of my life. For some, this is a big problem.

But you can’t expect a book to materialize in front of you, with your name on the cover, if all you do after work is sit in front of a tv for hours on end.

Not unless you want it to take about 20 years.

Now, video games have been harder to let go.

When I was younger, these, too, were sacrificed at the alter of the OCDemons. But after college, they were resurrected. And they found me.

Hell, for a while, when Final Fantasy XIV came out, my husband and I would alternate nights, and that was just…what we did. One of us played, and the other either did chores, or watched. Then, the next night, it switched. We did that for months.

And don’t even get me started on Skyrim or Fallout 4. I sank so much time into those games, and I loved every second of it.

But I want to write. I want to, eventually, make a career out of writing so I can write even more. That means cutting out other things to make time for it.

So, I put less time into video games.

And…all my other various hobbies. Lol.

And…also some social time.

Basically, what I’m saying is that it takes work and dedication.

And if you’re going to do it, if you’re going to put in the effort of writing a book, you may as well put in the effort to do it right. That means learning about grammar, and style, and flow, and character arcs, and so many other things…In addition to writing time.

So, anyone beginning a writing career, balance is going to be hard. You’re going to have to give up a lot. But if it’s your dream, do it. Make time for loved ones, of course, but if it comes down to choosing between watching a show you’ve seen several times or hammering out a chapter…

You know what you have to do.

Readers…please just appreciate the effort that goes into a book. As a ton of online posts would say, “feed an author, leave a review.” Lol.

But seriously, leave reviews.

Amazon doesn’t put books into certain featured lists until they get a certain number of reviews. They’re pretty important.

Anyway, I’ll stop ranting and raving for now. It’s been a pretty productive week. I typed just over 6,600 words for Salt and Silver, and have a chapter handwritten. Then, just the epilogue and I might add a chapter. I’ve got it planned, and it’ll help with balance and closure, but it isn’t completely necessary.

We’ll see. I’ll probably write it, and then go through the story with and without it. Then…it may face the guillotine.

Either way, I’m getting so freaking close to being done with the first draft. And the closing line of the last chapter…

I can’t tell you (literally, because spoilers) how happy I am with it. That one line wraps it all up so damn nicely.

I still have to type that part up, and I’m genuinely looking forward to typing that last line. It won’t be the last part I type, because I’ll still have to do the epilogue. But I want to get to that part of the story, again. The rush of it when I wrote it out by hand…

*sighs contentedly*

Well, for now, I’ll be signing off.

Keep reading. Keep writing.

Later.

Posted on

Bits and Baubles

Hello, all!

The end of Salt and Silver is in sight. I can feel it. Just a few more chapters…It calls to me. The notebook lying in front of me on the desk is begging me to open it, and type up the bits that I wrote at work.

After adding over 7,000 words this week (which is pretty damn good, considering the full time job), I’m sitting at just over 61,400 words. I also wrote another piece of flash fiction.

So, overall, this was a damn good week. And, honestly, Salt and Silver hasn’t taken that long. I started it at the beginning of January. The 10th, maybe? So, four and a half months, with a rewrite for the first 40,000 words, overtime every week, a vacation, and a couple short stories included in there…

That’s pretty fucking fast. Lol.

Gotta say…I’m kinda happy with that. Of course, it’s not done, yet. It’ll take another week or two to round it out. Then, one round of editing, and it’ll go on the back burner while I do some revisions on another project. (Gotta give myself some time to forget what I’ve done, and gain some distance before I go in for more serious editing.)

Now, as for the release of my other finished novels and the rerelease of The Gem of Meruna…

I don’t have a schedule pinned down, yet. I have to go through them all, one last time, to ferret out any problems I may have missed before. Plus there are the covers to sort out, and formatting to do. Not to mention marketing…ugh…the part I suck at.

But, I have updated my Works in Progress page to tell you all a little more about each book. If you haven’t checked it out, you totally should. There is so much for you to see. Title and genres are revealed, plus a tiny bit of information on each one. (I can’t give away too much, all at once.)

Now, on to a completely different subject. In the past, I’ve told you all some very, very personal things about me. Today, I thought I’d tell you some random facts about myself.

Preferred writing drink?
Hot apple cider

Background noise when writing?
Preferred, but not necessary. If I’m near a t.v., I turn on Friends. (I can watch it if I get stuck, and find it perfectly amusing, thus taking my mind off the story for a moment, and letting my subconscious work through the puzzle. But, I’ve seen it all the way through so many times that, if I’m writing, I know exactly what’s happening, so I’m not worried about missing anything.) I apply this show to way to many aspects of my life, and quote it…far too often.
Music is always a favorite, but the genre varies widely. Sometimes it’s Celtic metal, other times it’s Russian pop or electro-swing. Sometimes classical, other times rap. It just depends on the scene I’m writing. Different songs fit the mood better than others, and genre really holds no bearing over the mood of the song. And, since I spend 40+ hours a week listening to music at work, I can customize playlists for each story.

Favorite band?
Chelsea Wolfe and Balthazar are tied for first place, because I can listen to just about any of their songs, any time, any place. And they’re both so eclectic. Chelsea Wolfe is grungy folk metal, and her music lends itself especially well to moody scenes or any scene involving magic (the darker the better). Balthazar is indie pop/rock with elements of jazz, vaudeville, and British punk rock, with an overarching Bohemian feel. I always picture a romanticized, turn of the century opium den when I listen to them. People lounging about on hundreds of pillows in the floor of darkened rooms, tapestries lining the walls, incense burning everywhere…Overall, it’s just fantastic music.
NF is second (technically third, since two are ahead of him). His music, specifically the Mansion album, hit me pretty hard the first time I heard it. He’s open and real. He’s seen some shit, and the song Mansion explains how he deals/compartmentalizes in a way that really resonates with me. But I’m not in love with all his songs. He has some that are strictly posturing and flaunting his prowess as a rapper. Those, I could do without. So, I can’t give him the number one spot.

Favorite animal?
Octopus

Hobbies?
This one could take a while.
Reading (obviously), Dungeons and Dragons, video games, photography, singing (though not with people around), archery (novice), shooting guns (novice), car modification (not even novice status), blacksmithing (complete amateur).

Favorite movie?
Moulin Rouge. It gets me every single time.
Also, important note…I’m not a huge movie person. I never really watched them growing up, and only recently started catching up on the ones I “missed out on,” though most of them…I was okay without. Lol.

Worst movie I’ve ever seen?
Titanic 2 or House Shark
I feel like…I don’t really have to explain either of those. Lol. Yet, terrible as they may have been, objectively speaking, they were certainly memorable.
Fun fact: House Shark was funded through a kickstarter or gofundme, in which they didn’t get even a third of the amount needed, but they were like…”Fuck it. We’re doing this.” And then, they did.

Education?
I have a B.A. in Clinical Psychology.

Favorite food?
Pizza, Reese’s cups, or chocolate chip cookies (warm and gooey, of course).
Or maybe bacon cheeseburgers and french fries…
Or KitKat’s…
Basically, I like junk food. Lol.

Any collections?
Old books and documents, four leaf clovers ( I find them often), skeleton keys, random bits and baubles that I find and like (my library is running out of room).

All right, well, I think that’s plenty for now.

Stay tuned for more updates.

Keep reading. Keep writing.

Later.

Posted on

Whose Eyes Should I Look Through?

Hello, all!

This week, I did something with Salt and Silver that’s a pretty common mistake. If you follow me on Instagram, you will have seen the video I posted where I deleted a large chunk of text. I wrote that section of a scene, then realized it would be better told from the perspective of my other main character. So, I rewrote the scene from the other perspective, and deleted the original.

Writing from the wrong perspective for a scene can really hinder the flow, and the story, as a whole, and it’s so easy to do.

So, today, I thought I’d go over why main characters are main characters, and why we show certain things from certain perspectives.

Ever wonder why the main person in a book or movie is always “the one?” Or why everything happens to them? Or why they have so much going on in their life?

It’s on purpose. Believe me.

Why the fuck would we write about the hero’s cousin? Who wants to read a story about someone who heard about this kid who got magical powers? Who would sit for two and a half hours watching a movie about the woman who works with a woman who became a vigilante, even though this other woman never did anything cool or funny or daring?

No one.

Because it wouldn’t be interesting.

We write about “the one” because, in their world, they have the most to lose, or face the hardest decisions, or have to sacrifice more. They’re the main character because they’re the main one dealing with the issues of the plot.

Everything happens to them…so we can actually show it to you.

If I write a scene from the perspective of every single character involved in a book, 1) that’s going to be a hell of a lot of work for me, and 2) that’s going to be incredibly convoluted and hard to follow. So…everything has to happen to that character, or, at least, to someone they’re close to, so it still impacts them.

They have a lot going on because…well…they have to have baggage to be realistic. If they have no baggage, if their life is easy and perfect and blissful…that’s hard to relate to.

And unrelatable characters just aren’t as interesting.

Now, if you don’t choose the exact right character to spotlight, that doesn’t mean it’s a complete loss. For instance, I watched a movie called The Silence, recently. It’s on Netflix, one of their originals, I think.

It was good. I enjoyed it. But. They picked the wrong main character.

They weren’t off by much, of course. And, yes, the deaf daughter has her own merits as a character. She’s certainly got some things she deals with (being deaf is a hindrance in our world, and in the apocalypse, as neither world cares much to cater to people).

But the dad is a much more interesting character. He has to make the tough calls. He’s the one to sacrifice, time and time again, getting creative in times of great duress.

The daughter just worries about a guy she likes, and watches the struggles going on around her.

Not quite as interesting.

But I still liked the movie.

So, it’s not necessarily the end of your story if you choose the wrong character to highlight, but it will have an impact.

So, if you’re writing, think about which character has the most at stake. Which character has the most to gain? The most to lose? Who will play the biggest role in overcoming the issues at hand? Who has the most to overcome?

If you’re writing from multiple points of view, and need to decide who to write a specific scene for, which main character will be the most emotional during that scene? Which will be hit the hardest? Who will be the most excited?

Or, depending on what you’re going for, who will be so overwhelmed by emotion that they enter that strange, drifty-numb state where processing anything new becomes too much?

Find the answer to the questions above. That’s your main character.

Sometimes, it turns out to be the villain. Sometimes, it’s a more obvious choice (the chosen one, or some such thing).

And, of course, there are exceptions to the rule, as is the case with anything, especially creative things. Sometimes having one character frame the events that unfold for the true main character is a good way to write. But most of the time, the most interesting character is the best perspective to go with.

Anyway, now that the educational portion of this week’s blog is over, it’s time for a status report. This week, I pulled off 4,649 words for Salt and Silver, not including the deleted portion or the (approximately) 500 words that’s sitting in the notebook in front of me, waiting for me to type it up.

I also just wrote a 1,229 word short story/flash fiction piece. The story was stuck in my head, so I just hammered it out real quick before doing my blog. Lol. I’m still deciding on how to get that out for you all to read.

Posting it in my blog kinda eliminates the possibility of actually publishing it later. Self-publishing something that short without other stories along with it seems silly. I couldn’t get a paperback for it, and I refuse to not have the option of a hard copy.

I may look around for some anthologies that are taking submissions, and see if it fits. Granted, I still have to edit it. But whatever. I can do that later.

For now, I think I’m going to get to work on Salt and Silver. So…

Keep reading. Keep writing.

Later.

Posted on

Decisions…

Hello, all!

Since I know the aforementioned announcement is what likely brought most of you here, I will, of course, keep you waiting.

Lol.

After all, what writer in their write (see what I did there?) mind would give away the goods at the beginning?

None. Not a single one.

So, I’ll start with a progress report. The rewrite of the first half of Salt and Silver is done, and I have officially moved forward into writing the rest of the story. This supernatural romance has taken a lot of twists and turns that I did not see coming. But I love it.

When I started the rewrite, I had roughly 40,000 words across 100 pages (ish). Now, I have 49,547 words over the course of 128 pages. 🙂

I’m pretty happy with how it’s going, and I’m super excited to keep pushing forward.

I also managed to do the alchemy photo shoot I mentioned last week. If you haven’t seen it, head over to my Instagram or my Facebook author page, and check it out. (Links for both are at the absolute bottom of any page of my website.)

Anyway, I really like how it turned out. It took so long to do, but that’s okay. The sigils on the necklaces (which I sculpted and painted) took about an hour and a half to make, and turned out awesome. Set up for the shoot took about an hour and a half, maybe two hours, and the shoot itself took maybe an hour?

But it really brought Ness’ potion making livelihood right into my living room (literally). It brought her to life even more than she already was. In doing so, it contributed to Salt and Silver in a more…ambiguous way. Because now, I’ve been in her “home.” Lol.

Now, though, to bring this around almost to the main topic.

Over the past week, I’ve been doing more research into the differences between self-publishing and traditional publishing, as well as the pros and cons of each.

Some of these things are obvious.

Traditional publishing means you have teams of professionals doing some of the work for you, which is nice, especially when it comes to marketing (which I suck at). It also means unbearably long wait times.

The query/submission stage of any book project is maddening. Each agent or publisher has their own list of things they want you to write about the book to send along with the manuscript, and they all have their own formatting requirements.

Some want a one sentence summary, including the ending, of the story you’ve just spent 70,000 to 120,000 words telling (which is incredibly difficult), along with a query letter, and the first three chapters of the manuscript. Another might want a three page synopsis, a cover letter (yes, this is different from a query letter, though in very small ways), and the whole manuscript. Others want all of the above, as well as market research, and five year plans.

And every single submission item, be it a one sentence summary, a query letter, or a synopsis, is both an art and a science, in and of itself.

Needless to say, submitting to one agent or publisher can take hours. And all of this is after you’ve compiled a list of people to submit to who are, at that exact moment in time, accepting unagented submissions in that genre, with no theme or subject matter restrictions which would eliminate your work.

Then, you get to wait.

Anywhere from two weeks to an entire year.

Some of them require that you submit nowhere else while they consider it.

So a manuscript can just be placed on hold in someone’s inbox for a year, and you can’t do a thing with it.

Then, there’s the fact that offers are only made on 1-2% of submissions at any given publisher…

All told, the submission process is riddled with grueling hours in front of a screen and waiting and rejections and waiting and heartache and yes…more waiting.

Then, more rejections…

And, for a while, I thought it would be worth it.

Not for the prestige of being picked up by a traditional publisher. Don’t get me wrong, getting an offer for a book deal would be fantastic. The validation of it would be magnificent.

But I just kind of assumed it would be better. I assumed that my work would do better with a traditional publisher, and that the money would be better, thus I’d be able to be a full time author much faster.

Over the course of my research this week, though…I discovered that this isn’t really the case. I was watching a video on Youtube by Alexa Donne called Traditional Publishing Book Money 101, and learned some rather shocking things about the publishing industry.

Apparently, advances (predicted royalties paid ahead of time in good faith) are paid out over the course of a couple years, not all at once. As of 2017 (when she made the video), the average advance was between $1,000 and $10,000. Sounds good, right?

Except, that it’s then halved by agent fees and taxes (which are 40%, because Uncle Sam treats it as freelance/contractor work). So…$500 to $5,000…over the course of a couple years…

Not quite quit your day job money.

And since it takes so long to get a book deal, often years, there aren’t going to be many of those small checks coming in.

So…it seems…far less worth it to wait out the submission process.

Now, self-publishing can work very well for people who write quality books quickly, and who can market themselves.

I suck at marketing, but I learn fast.

And I write quickly, with high standards.

So, if you haven’t guessed where this is leading, I’ve decided to stop putting time into submissions. Instead, I’ll be focusing on the final rounds of edits, formatting, arranging cover art, and self-publishing.

I’ll be re-releasing The Gem of Meruna (likely first, because it needs updated and I can assign a lower price on kdp than that assigned by the original publisher).

Then, I have three standalone novels to release. Where Darkness Leads is dark fantasy romance. Soul Bearer is sword and sorcery/fantasy romance. After is post-apocalyptic, and a bit of a roller coaster.

By the time all that is done, I hope to have Salt and Silver done, as well as The Regonia Chronicles. And the thriller I got an idea for over the past week, tentatively called Second to None. Plus all the other ideas I have, and the stories I’ve begun, but haven’t had time to finish just yet.

So, long story short, the decision to self-publish is a very exciting one.

After and Soul Bearer are each still submitted to a couple agents and publishers, so, of course, I’ll await their responses before moving forward with this. It wouldn’t make sense to throw away the work of submitting, my time, and the time of the people reading through them.

But, given the 1-2% odds, they’ll likely be self-published. Lol.

Anyway, the future looks rather promising. I’ve got a lot to do, and I can only hope that my day job doesn’t mandate me for too much overtime. :/

But, for now, I’d better be going. I’m off work tomorrow, but I have an unfortunately early morning calling my name.

So…

Keep reading. Keep writing.

Later.

Posted on

Sating the Monster

Hello, all!

There’s a quote by Franz Kafka that I love. “A non-writing writer is a monster courting disaster.”

It feels 100% accurate, most of the time, let me tell you.

When you write a lot, it becomes such a huge part of your day, of your life, really, that not writing makes you…anxious. Like there are a million words about three thousand worlds and people, all itching to get out.

Because there are.

Beneath the skin, behind the eyes, of every writer, there lie untold universes. And they’re all trapped, until they meet the page (or the screen). They claw and scratch and shout for freedom.

It’s hard to explain, but every character feels like a real person, with their own mind and heart and decision making abilities.

And they all want their time in the limelight.

Denying that…is hard. Focus drifts back to the story, to the world that you so badly want to be putting to paper. Things that stop you from writing become…a hassle. (Work, chores, etc.)

So, a non-writing writer…a bit of a time bomb. Lol.

But this week, disaster was averted.

I started the week on page 41 of 102 with the rewrite of the first half of Salt and Silver. Now, I’m sitting rather comfortably at the end of page 86 of 112.

And I’m so freaking excited about it!

Of course, I’m still anxious to get through the rewrite and finish the story, but this is just going so well. Now, that I’ve given myself over to the idea of cutting things out, somehow, I’m actually adding pages to the story as I go.

*sighs contentedly*

It’s been a good week.

Anyway, a couple other updates. I’ll be doing an alchemy themed photoshoot in the coming days or weeks. One of the MC’s in Salt and Silver, Ness, is a demi-demon, and she isn’t exactly accepted in polite society. So, she mixes potions and salves in her mountain cottage to sell for coin when she has to venture into towns.

I plan to base the photoshoot around her.

I even made some of the pendants from the story. She has various necklaces draped around the necks of bottles throughout her home, and I wanted to include them. Since I’ve pulled the symbols from thin air, finding pre-made ones wasn’t going to happen.

But I have them, now. I just have to attach them to chains and suede bands.

At any rate, that’s exciting for me.

In other news…

If you follow me on Instagram, you may already know, but Annabelle is being featured in another indie writer’s giveaway. She’s put together a collection of books by indie authors, is reviewing them, and giving them away.

Annabelle received one hell of a review, which I’m incredibly thankful for. Today was the last day to enter for the April boxes, but there will be another drawing in May. So, find @write_read_talk_live on Instagram, and check out her giveaway post for rules for entry. Follow her to stay posted on when the new giveaway will open for entries.

Or, if you don’t want to wait, you could always check out Annabelle on Amazon. Lol.

But follow her, regardless. She’s super cool, and posts a ton of awesome stuff.

Also, on a completely unrelated note, I may or may not be self-publishing another novel this year. I’m still debating, to be honest. Currently titled “Where Darkness Leads,” it’s a dark fantasy novel. Like…real dark.

It’s one that…will be hard to find a traditional publisher for. But I’m still toying with the idea.

Traditional publishing just has this…lure about it, this prestige. Being the one out of thousands to be chosen by a big publisher is a very nice thought. Honestly, submitting a manuscript to agents and publishers isn’t unlike playing the lottery. The odds are never in favor of the author. Ever. Most traditional publishers make offers on 1% of submissions. Maybe 2%.

But gambling can be so addicting.

The lure of the reward keeps pulling me along, despite the risk (time and effort that could have been put into writing, not to mention the painstaking research on which publishers/agents to submit to, all of which could very well be for naught).

It’s rather discouraging, at times.

And this particular novel…well, the only publisher I’ve found so far that seemed an absolute perfect fit…closed three years before I wrote the novel. Lol. So there’s that.

*sighs*

*rolls eyes at the ludicrous odds of such terrible timing*

Anyway…

I’d stay and ramble on a bit longer, but…I’m just so excited to get back to writing.

So, for now…

Keep reading. Keep writing.

Later.

Posted on

Cavemen and Rants

Hello, all.

*sigh*

So little time.

*sips hot apple cider*

It feels like I’ve been spinning my wheels, stuck in the mud, and going nowhere. So much time has been going to this rewrite. It’s necessary, believe me, and Salt and Silver can’t progress until this is done. I have to relearn who a couple of the characters are after throwing a few new curve balls at them.

And the fixes, the new tensions, the momentum of it all…It’s so much better than the original.

But it’s taking far longer than expected.

Don’t get me wrong, I fully understand the importance of editing/rewriting. If not for editing, most stories would be complete garbage. The ones that wouldn’t be complete garbage, would still be rough as hell. Loose ends would fray, rather than being tied off. Plot holes would swallow entire worlds. Characters would be flat. Grammar and spelling would be appalling.

So, yes, I know this is a vital step in my writing, this rewrite. But I’m so excited to move the story forward, rather than fixing the messed up first half.

Of course, working overtime every week certainly doesn’t speed the process. Every extra minute in the factory is one less minute typing.

Every author knows the struggle of not having time to write, though. Hell, every person who ever existed has felt the pressure of time, except maybe those who lived before time was invented.

But I have to wonder…did they feel it, too? The onward march, the fleeting nature of life? Were they, perhaps, able to perceive the crush of time, even if they had no idea what they were feeling? Did cavemen lament another day passed, another day closer to death?

I digress. That’s a concept for another day. At any rate, I have no answer. All I know is that time is a cruel mistress.

And certainly cruel, tonight.

I just worked a 12 hour shift, and then came home to do a bunch of cleaning. My husband and I are having a new dishwasher installed in the morning, and the house mustn’t be a wreck when the installers get here. (*rolls eyes at own need to impress total strangers*)

Also, note that I said morning.

I am not a morning person. My job usually works quite well with that, given that I don’t have the seniority to get day shift.

But appliance installers…morning works for them.

So, I’m typing all of this up as quickly as I can, for the sake of going to bed. I could wait until tomorrow, but…let’s be honest. I’m going back to sleep once the dishwasher is installed, and the strangers leave my house. Lol.

Anyway. I’m very ramble-y today. For which, I apologize.

So, some positive stuff.

I’m nearly halfway through the rewrite. 41 pages of 102 done.

And I did get some important world building stuff done this week. I made a world timeline, nailing down exact dates for important events. From the start of plagues that happened nearly 400 years prior to the story, all the way to invasions and wars that changed the landscape of the countries involved. I even figured out birthdays and…death days.

I also finally made a map. I had it in my head the whole time, of course. But seeing it on paper, rough sketch as it may be, is helpful. I’ll do a better one later, and I may even put that one online.

So, while it doesn’t feel like enough progress, it actually was a decent amount of work, given the amount of time I actually had. I suppose I should also consider the fact that no amount of progress ever meets my standards for myself.

Again, a topic for another day.

Before I go off on another rant, I’ll let you all get back to your day.

Keep reading. Keep writing.

Later.