Tag: Author

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Then Comes the Crash

Hello, all!

Now, those of you who follow me on social media (thank you!) probably already know this, but I finished the first draft of Salt and Silver!

God, it’s exciting. I can’t even begin to express how much of a high it is to finish writing a book. (Not without taking absolutely forever about it, and, lets face it, that would get pretty boring for you guys.) The feeling of accomplishment is incredibly overwhelming, though.

Of course, now there’s the problem of…the crash.

You see, finishing a book is huge. But I’ve spent the past 4 or 5 months (since the first or second week of January) in the minds of these characters. I’ve lived and breathed their lives and breaths.

Ness, Nolan, and Elias have become so real to me, as do the characters in every book I write. And they have to, really. My writing is deeply psychological and very emotional. I have to flesh the characters out, have to know what drives them. I have to figure out their deepest desires, their coping mechanisms, their humor, the things that make them nervous…

All of it.

And by the time you do that, they’re like real people.

Add to that the fact that I’m a pantser, and it’s basically like the beginning of a friendship (or rivalry, in the case of villains). Every time I sit down with these characters, I learn something new. Every time I think through their lives, I figure out something new in their past that explains the personality they’ve taken on.

Yes, I know. I can practically hear the scoffs and see the eye rolls I’m sure some of you are giving me. I’m perfectly aware that most people who do a lot of outlining and plotting think that all this pantser mumbo jumbo is…well, mumbo jumbo. “You made the characters. You control their personality and their actions.”

Yeah, I do. To a degree.

But for the sake of realism, I have to treat them like people. The only alternative is plotting everything ahead of time, and feeling like I’m suffocating. If they each have their own code, their own personality, then writing them by the seat of my pants is easier. Because there are certain things they would, or would not, do.

Plus, much like real people, fictional people cause all sorts of drama for themselves when left to their own devices.

But treating them like real people has a price. Now, there’s the emptiness left behind by getting their stories out. Because, now, I don’t have to learn more about them. I don’t have to figure out their lives. I don’t have to learn what these friends like to eat, or why they like the sound of the birds in the woods beyond their cottage window, or why they feel guilty all the time.

It’s all done. It’s all figured out.

These friends, in their own way, have moved on. Which makes this “crash” seem a lot lonelier than I intended it to. Lol.

And since I’m going to be editing for a while, rather than starting another story immediately, I’m not building a new world or creating people. It’s honestly…a bit boring. Lol. 12 hours shifts go by so much faster when I have a story spinning through my brain. My mind is desperate to work on something, but…I can’t edit while operating heavy machinery.

Not if I expect to come out the other side of the experience with all my parts attached…I kinda have to watch what I’m doing. Staring at a screen is just a bad idea. Lol.

It’s not like I don’t have ideas, though. I intend to finish The Regonia Chronicles this year, and then there’s Second to None, the thriller that I’m dying to get started on.

But if I don’t do some editing, and get all this other shit done, I’ll never get any of these stories out to be read. Between the rerelease of The Gem of Meruna, Salt and Silver, and the other completed standalone novels (I specify standalone here, because technically book one of Regonia is done, but I’m not far enough with the series to even think about a release for that one yet), I have five books…just…waiting.

And since I’ve decided to self-publish, all they’re waiting on…is me.

We’ll see how stir crazy I get, not writing. It genuinely drives me batty. I may have to do a chapter here and there for Regonia, just to maintain my sanity.

For now, though, I’m about five chapters into the preliminary edits of Salt and Silver. (I have the edits for the next couple chapters handwritten, though, because I worked on it in the cafeteria at work. So…sorta seven chapters into the edit.) This is just the “I put that in to fill a plothole, so don’t forget, take it out, and fuck up the story” edit. It’s also the “Why the fuck did I choose that word?” edit…

Basically, just catching wonky flow and typos while it’s all still fresh in my mind.

I have to tighten it up, basically. Not that my first drafts are absolute monstrosities, or anything, but they certainly need work.

Then, I’ll let it sit while I get The Gem of Meruna ready. Then, back into the minds of Ness, Nolan, and Elias in the world of Salt and SIlver for more edits. Then…drum roll…writing something else. Eventually, some more polishing for Salt and SIlver, and then it’ll be off to beta readers.

So, in case you thought books were quick and easy…They’re not. Lol. There are so many steps involved.

Now, I write fast . The last two books I’ve written took about 4-5 months each, while working full time, with overtime almost every week. Hell, since I started taking my writing seriously in 2014, I’ve written six complete novels, a novella, and a lot of short stories. (RIP the novel I wrote in college, that was lost when the laptop and the external hard drive it was backed up on…fried.)

But there are so many things to do to get a story truly ready for readers. Writing it is only the beginning.

Anyway, though…

That pretty much gets you all up to speed with where I’m at, right now. I’ll set a release date for The Gem of Meruna once I get through some of the updating, and I’ll keep you posted.

For now…

Keep reading. Keep writing.

Later.

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Bits and Baubles

Hello, all!

The end of Salt and Silver is in sight. I can feel it. Just a few more chapters…It calls to me. The notebook lying in front of me on the desk is begging me to open it, and type up the bits that I wrote at work.

After adding over 7,000 words this week (which is pretty damn good, considering the full time job), I’m sitting at just over 61,400 words. I also wrote another piece of flash fiction.

So, overall, this was a damn good week. And, honestly, Salt and Silver hasn’t taken that long. I started it at the beginning of January. The 10th, maybe? So, four and a half months, with a rewrite for the first 40,000 words, overtime every week, a vacation, and a couple short stories included in there…

That’s pretty fucking fast. Lol.

Gotta say…I’m kinda happy with that. Of course, it’s not done, yet. It’ll take another week or two to round it out. Then, one round of editing, and it’ll go on the back burner while I do some revisions on another project. (Gotta give myself some time to forget what I’ve done, and gain some distance before I go in for more serious editing.)

Now, as for the release of my other finished novels and the rerelease of The Gem of Meruna…

I don’t have a schedule pinned down, yet. I have to go through them all, one last time, to ferret out any problems I may have missed before. Plus there are the covers to sort out, and formatting to do. Not to mention marketing…ugh…the part I suck at.

But, I have updated my Works in Progress page to tell you all a little more about each book. If you haven’t checked it out, you totally should. There is so much for you to see. Title and genres are revealed, plus a tiny bit of information on each one. (I can’t give away too much, all at once.)

Now, on to a completely different subject. In the past, I’ve told you all some very, very personal things about me. Today, I thought I’d tell you some random facts about myself.

Preferred writing drink?
Hot apple cider

Background noise when writing?
Preferred, but not necessary. If I’m near a t.v., I turn on Friends. (I can watch it if I get stuck, and find it perfectly amusing, thus taking my mind off the story for a moment, and letting my subconscious work through the puzzle. But, I’ve seen it all the way through so many times that, if I’m writing, I know exactly what’s happening, so I’m not worried about missing anything.) I apply this show to way to many aspects of my life, and quote it…far too often.
Music is always a favorite, but the genre varies widely. Sometimes it’s Celtic metal, other times it’s Russian pop or electro-swing. Sometimes classical, other times rap. It just depends on the scene I’m writing. Different songs fit the mood better than others, and genre really holds no bearing over the mood of the song. And, since I spend 40+ hours a week listening to music at work, I can customize playlists for each story.

Favorite band?
Chelsea Wolfe and Balthazar are tied for first place, because I can listen to just about any of their songs, any time, any place. And they’re both so eclectic. Chelsea Wolfe is grungy folk metal, and her music lends itself especially well to moody scenes or any scene involving magic (the darker the better). Balthazar is indie pop/rock with elements of jazz, vaudeville, and British punk rock, with an overarching Bohemian feel. I always picture a romanticized, turn of the century opium den when I listen to them. People lounging about on hundreds of pillows in the floor of darkened rooms, tapestries lining the walls, incense burning everywhere…Overall, it’s just fantastic music.
NF is second (technically third, since two are ahead of him). His music, specifically the Mansion album, hit me pretty hard the first time I heard it. He’s open and real. He’s seen some shit, and the song Mansion explains how he deals/compartmentalizes in a way that really resonates with me. But I’m not in love with all his songs. He has some that are strictly posturing and flaunting his prowess as a rapper. Those, I could do without. So, I can’t give him the number one spot.

Favorite animal?
Octopus

Hobbies?
This one could take a while.
Reading (obviously), Dungeons and Dragons, video games, photography, singing (though not with people around), archery (novice), shooting guns (novice), car modification (not even novice status), blacksmithing (complete amateur).

Favorite movie?
Moulin Rouge. It gets me every single time.
Also, important note…I’m not a huge movie person. I never really watched them growing up, and only recently started catching up on the ones I “missed out on,” though most of them…I was okay without. Lol.

Worst movie I’ve ever seen?
Titanic 2 or House Shark
I feel like…I don’t really have to explain either of those. Lol. Yet, terrible as they may have been, objectively speaking, they were certainly memorable.
Fun fact: House Shark was funded through a kickstarter or gofundme, in which they didn’t get even a third of the amount needed, but they were like…”Fuck it. We’re doing this.” And then, they did.

Education?
I have a B.A. in Clinical Psychology.

Favorite food?
Pizza, Reese’s cups, or chocolate chip cookies (warm and gooey, of course).
Or maybe bacon cheeseburgers and french fries…
Or KitKat’s…
Basically, I like junk food. Lol.

Any collections?
Old books and documents, four leaf clovers ( I find them often), skeleton keys, random bits and baubles that I find and like (my library is running out of room).

All right, well, I think that’s plenty for now.

Stay tuned for more updates.

Keep reading. Keep writing.

Later.

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Whose Eyes Should I Look Through?

Hello, all!

This week, I did something with Salt and Silver that’s a pretty common mistake. If you follow me on Instagram, you will have seen the video I posted where I deleted a large chunk of text. I wrote that section of a scene, then realized it would be better told from the perspective of my other main character. So, I rewrote the scene from the other perspective, and deleted the original.

Writing from the wrong perspective for a scene can really hinder the flow, and the story, as a whole, and it’s so easy to do.

So, today, I thought I’d go over why main characters are main characters, and why we show certain things from certain perspectives.

Ever wonder why the main person in a book or movie is always “the one?” Or why everything happens to them? Or why they have so much going on in their life?

It’s on purpose. Believe me.

Why the fuck would we write about the hero’s cousin? Who wants to read a story about someone who heard about this kid who got magical powers? Who would sit for two and a half hours watching a movie about the woman who works with a woman who became a vigilante, even though this other woman never did anything cool or funny or daring?

No one.

Because it wouldn’t be interesting.

We write about “the one” because, in their world, they have the most to lose, or face the hardest decisions, or have to sacrifice more. They’re the main character because they’re the main one dealing with the issues of the plot.

Everything happens to them…so we can actually show it to you.

If I write a scene from the perspective of every single character involved in a book, 1) that’s going to be a hell of a lot of work for me, and 2) that’s going to be incredibly convoluted and hard to follow. So…everything has to happen to that character, or, at least, to someone they’re close to, so it still impacts them.

They have a lot going on because…well…they have to have baggage to be realistic. If they have no baggage, if their life is easy and perfect and blissful…that’s hard to relate to.

And unrelatable characters just aren’t as interesting.

Now, if you don’t choose the exact right character to spotlight, that doesn’t mean it’s a complete loss. For instance, I watched a movie called The Silence, recently. It’s on Netflix, one of their originals, I think.

It was good. I enjoyed it. But. They picked the wrong main character.

They weren’t off by much, of course. And, yes, the deaf daughter has her own merits as a character. She’s certainly got some things she deals with (being deaf is a hindrance in our world, and in the apocalypse, as neither world cares much to cater to people).

But the dad is a much more interesting character. He has to make the tough calls. He’s the one to sacrifice, time and time again, getting creative in times of great duress.

The daughter just worries about a guy she likes, and watches the struggles going on around her.

Not quite as interesting.

But I still liked the movie.

So, it’s not necessarily the end of your story if you choose the wrong character to highlight, but it will have an impact.

So, if you’re writing, think about which character has the most at stake. Which character has the most to gain? The most to lose? Who will play the biggest role in overcoming the issues at hand? Who has the most to overcome?

If you’re writing from multiple points of view, and need to decide who to write a specific scene for, which main character will be the most emotional during that scene? Which will be hit the hardest? Who will be the most excited?

Or, depending on what you’re going for, who will be so overwhelmed by emotion that they enter that strange, drifty-numb state where processing anything new becomes too much?

Find the answer to the questions above. That’s your main character.

Sometimes, it turns out to be the villain. Sometimes, it’s a more obvious choice (the chosen one, or some such thing).

And, of course, there are exceptions to the rule, as is the case with anything, especially creative things. Sometimes having one character frame the events that unfold for the true main character is a good way to write. But most of the time, the most interesting character is the best perspective to go with.

Anyway, now that the educational portion of this week’s blog is over, it’s time for a status report. This week, I pulled off 4,649 words for Salt and Silver, not including the deleted portion or the (approximately) 500 words that’s sitting in the notebook in front of me, waiting for me to type it up.

I also just wrote a 1,229 word short story/flash fiction piece. The story was stuck in my head, so I just hammered it out real quick before doing my blog. Lol. I’m still deciding on how to get that out for you all to read.

Posting it in my blog kinda eliminates the possibility of actually publishing it later. Self-publishing something that short without other stories along with it seems silly. I couldn’t get a paperback for it, and I refuse to not have the option of a hard copy.

I may look around for some anthologies that are taking submissions, and see if it fits. Granted, I still have to edit it. But whatever. I can do that later.

For now, I think I’m going to get to work on Salt and Silver. So…

Keep reading. Keep writing.

Later.

Posted on

Decisions…

Hello, all!

Since I know the aforementioned announcement is what likely brought most of you here, I will, of course, keep you waiting.

Lol.

After all, what writer in their write (see what I did there?) mind would give away the goods at the beginning?

None. Not a single one.

So, I’ll start with a progress report. The rewrite of the first half of Salt and Silver is done, and I have officially moved forward into writing the rest of the story. This supernatural romance has taken a lot of twists and turns that I did not see coming. But I love it.

When I started the rewrite, I had roughly 40,000 words across 100 pages (ish). Now, I have 49,547 words over the course of 128 pages. 🙂

I’m pretty happy with how it’s going, and I’m super excited to keep pushing forward.

I also managed to do the alchemy photo shoot I mentioned last week. If you haven’t seen it, head over to my Instagram or my Facebook author page, and check it out. (Links for both are at the absolute bottom of any page of my website.)

Anyway, I really like how it turned out. It took so long to do, but that’s okay. The sigils on the necklaces (which I sculpted and painted) took about an hour and a half to make, and turned out awesome. Set up for the shoot took about an hour and a half, maybe two hours, and the shoot itself took maybe an hour?

But it really brought Ness’ potion making livelihood right into my living room (literally). It brought her to life even more than she already was. In doing so, it contributed to Salt and Silver in a more…ambiguous way. Because now, I’ve been in her “home.” Lol.

Now, though, to bring this around almost to the main topic.

Over the past week, I’ve been doing more research into the differences between self-publishing and traditional publishing, as well as the pros and cons of each.

Some of these things are obvious.

Traditional publishing means you have teams of professionals doing some of the work for you, which is nice, especially when it comes to marketing (which I suck at). It also means unbearably long wait times.

The query/submission stage of any book project is maddening. Each agent or publisher has their own list of things they want you to write about the book to send along with the manuscript, and they all have their own formatting requirements.

Some want a one sentence summary, including the ending, of the story you’ve just spent 70,000 to 120,000 words telling (which is incredibly difficult), along with a query letter, and the first three chapters of the manuscript. Another might want a three page synopsis, a cover letter (yes, this is different from a query letter, though in very small ways), and the whole manuscript. Others want all of the above, as well as market research, and five year plans.

And every single submission item, be it a one sentence summary, a query letter, or a synopsis, is both an art and a science, in and of itself.

Needless to say, submitting to one agent or publisher can take hours. And all of this is after you’ve compiled a list of people to submit to who are, at that exact moment in time, accepting unagented submissions in that genre, with no theme or subject matter restrictions which would eliminate your work.

Then, you get to wait.

Anywhere from two weeks to an entire year.

Some of them require that you submit nowhere else while they consider it.

So a manuscript can just be placed on hold in someone’s inbox for a year, and you can’t do a thing with it.

Then, there’s the fact that offers are only made on 1-2% of submissions at any given publisher…

All told, the submission process is riddled with grueling hours in front of a screen and waiting and rejections and waiting and heartache and yes…more waiting.

Then, more rejections…

And, for a while, I thought it would be worth it.

Not for the prestige of being picked up by a traditional publisher. Don’t get me wrong, getting an offer for a book deal would be fantastic. The validation of it would be magnificent.

But I just kind of assumed it would be better. I assumed that my work would do better with a traditional publisher, and that the money would be better, thus I’d be able to be a full time author much faster.

Over the course of my research this week, though…I discovered that this isn’t really the case. I was watching a video on Youtube by Alexa Donne called Traditional Publishing Book Money 101, and learned some rather shocking things about the publishing industry.

Apparently, advances (predicted royalties paid ahead of time in good faith) are paid out over the course of a couple years, not all at once. As of 2017 (when she made the video), the average advance was between $1,000 and $10,000. Sounds good, right?

Except, that it’s then halved by agent fees and taxes (which are 40%, because Uncle Sam treats it as freelance/contractor work). So…$500 to $5,000…over the course of a couple years…

Not quite quit your day job money.

And since it takes so long to get a book deal, often years, there aren’t going to be many of those small checks coming in.

So…it seems…far less worth it to wait out the submission process.

Now, self-publishing can work very well for people who write quality books quickly, and who can market themselves.

I suck at marketing, but I learn fast.

And I write quickly, with high standards.

So, if you haven’t guessed where this is leading, I’ve decided to stop putting time into submissions. Instead, I’ll be focusing on the final rounds of edits, formatting, arranging cover art, and self-publishing.

I’ll be re-releasing The Gem of Meruna (likely first, because it needs updated and I can assign a lower price on kdp than that assigned by the original publisher).

Then, I have three standalone novels to release. Where Darkness Leads is dark fantasy romance. Soul Bearer is sword and sorcery/fantasy romance. After is post-apocalyptic, and a bit of a roller coaster.

By the time all that is done, I hope to have Salt and Silver done, as well as The Regonia Chronicles. And the thriller I got an idea for over the past week, tentatively called Second to None. Plus all the other ideas I have, and the stories I’ve begun, but haven’t had time to finish just yet.

So, long story short, the decision to self-publish is a very exciting one.

After and Soul Bearer are each still submitted to a couple agents and publishers, so, of course, I’ll await their responses before moving forward with this. It wouldn’t make sense to throw away the work of submitting, my time, and the time of the people reading through them.

But, given the 1-2% odds, they’ll likely be self-published. Lol.

Anyway, the future looks rather promising. I’ve got a lot to do, and I can only hope that my day job doesn’t mandate me for too much overtime. :/

But, for now, I’d better be going. I’m off work tomorrow, but I have an unfortunately early morning calling my name.

So…

Keep reading. Keep writing.

Later.

Posted on

Sating the Monster

Hello, all!

There’s a quote by Franz Kafka that I love. “A non-writing writer is a monster courting disaster.”

It feels 100% accurate, most of the time, let me tell you.

When you write a lot, it becomes such a huge part of your day, of your life, really, that not writing makes you…anxious. Like there are a million words about three thousand worlds and people, all itching to get out.

Because there are.

Beneath the skin, behind the eyes, of every writer, there lie untold universes. And they’re all trapped, until they meet the page (or the screen). They claw and scratch and shout for freedom.

It’s hard to explain, but every character feels like a real person, with their own mind and heart and decision making abilities.

And they all want their time in the limelight.

Denying that…is hard. Focus drifts back to the story, to the world that you so badly want to be putting to paper. Things that stop you from writing become…a hassle. (Work, chores, etc.)

So, a non-writing writer…a bit of a time bomb. Lol.

But this week, disaster was averted.

I started the week on page 41 of 102 with the rewrite of the first half of Salt and Silver. Now, I’m sitting rather comfortably at the end of page 86 of 112.

And I’m so freaking excited about it!

Of course, I’m still anxious to get through the rewrite and finish the story, but this is just going so well. Now, that I’ve given myself over to the idea of cutting things out, somehow, I’m actually adding pages to the story as I go.

*sighs contentedly*

It’s been a good week.

Anyway, a couple other updates. I’ll be doing an alchemy themed photoshoot in the coming days or weeks. One of the MC’s in Salt and Silver, Ness, is a demi-demon, and she isn’t exactly accepted in polite society. So, she mixes potions and salves in her mountain cottage to sell for coin when she has to venture into towns.

I plan to base the photoshoot around her.

I even made some of the pendants from the story. She has various necklaces draped around the necks of bottles throughout her home, and I wanted to include them. Since I’ve pulled the symbols from thin air, finding pre-made ones wasn’t going to happen.

But I have them, now. I just have to attach them to chains and suede bands.

At any rate, that’s exciting for me.

In other news…

If you follow me on Instagram, you may already know, but Annabelle is being featured in another indie writer’s giveaway. She’s put together a collection of books by indie authors, is reviewing them, and giving them away.

Annabelle received one hell of a review, which I’m incredibly thankful for. Today was the last day to enter for the April boxes, but there will be another drawing in May. So, find @write_read_talk_live on Instagram, and check out her giveaway post for rules for entry. Follow her to stay posted on when the new giveaway will open for entries.

Or, if you don’t want to wait, you could always check out Annabelle on Amazon. Lol.

But follow her, regardless. She’s super cool, and posts a ton of awesome stuff.

Also, on a completely unrelated note, I may or may not be self-publishing another novel this year. I’m still debating, to be honest. Currently titled “Where Darkness Leads,” it’s a dark fantasy novel. Like…real dark.

It’s one that…will be hard to find a traditional publisher for. But I’m still toying with the idea.

Traditional publishing just has this…lure about it, this prestige. Being the one out of thousands to be chosen by a big publisher is a very nice thought. Honestly, submitting a manuscript to agents and publishers isn’t unlike playing the lottery. The odds are never in favor of the author. Ever. Most traditional publishers make offers on 1% of submissions. Maybe 2%.

But gambling can be so addicting.

The lure of the reward keeps pulling me along, despite the risk (time and effort that could have been put into writing, not to mention the painstaking research on which publishers/agents to submit to, all of which could very well be for naught).

It’s rather discouraging, at times.

And this particular novel…well, the only publisher I’ve found so far that seemed an absolute perfect fit…closed three years before I wrote the novel. Lol. So there’s that.

*sighs*

*rolls eyes at the ludicrous odds of such terrible timing*

Anyway…

I’d stay and ramble on a bit longer, but…I’m just so excited to get back to writing.

So, for now…

Keep reading. Keep writing.

Later.

Posted on

Cavemen and Rants

Hello, all.

*sigh*

So little time.

*sips hot apple cider*

It feels like I’ve been spinning my wheels, stuck in the mud, and going nowhere. So much time has been going to this rewrite. It’s necessary, believe me, and Salt and Silver can’t progress until this is done. I have to relearn who a couple of the characters are after throwing a few new curve balls at them.

And the fixes, the new tensions, the momentum of it all…It’s so much better than the original.

But it’s taking far longer than expected.

Don’t get me wrong, I fully understand the importance of editing/rewriting. If not for editing, most stories would be complete garbage. The ones that wouldn’t be complete garbage, would still be rough as hell. Loose ends would fray, rather than being tied off. Plot holes would swallow entire worlds. Characters would be flat. Grammar and spelling would be appalling.

So, yes, I know this is a vital step in my writing, this rewrite. But I’m so excited to move the story forward, rather than fixing the messed up first half.

Of course, working overtime every week certainly doesn’t speed the process. Every extra minute in the factory is one less minute typing.

Every author knows the struggle of not having time to write, though. Hell, every person who ever existed has felt the pressure of time, except maybe those who lived before time was invented.

But I have to wonder…did they feel it, too? The onward march, the fleeting nature of life? Were they, perhaps, able to perceive the crush of time, even if they had no idea what they were feeling? Did cavemen lament another day passed, another day closer to death?

I digress. That’s a concept for another day. At any rate, I have no answer. All I know is that time is a cruel mistress.

And certainly cruel, tonight.

I just worked a 12 hour shift, and then came home to do a bunch of cleaning. My husband and I are having a new dishwasher installed in the morning, and the house mustn’t be a wreck when the installers get here. (*rolls eyes at own need to impress total strangers*)

Also, note that I said morning.

I am not a morning person. My job usually works quite well with that, given that I don’t have the seniority to get day shift.

But appliance installers…morning works for them.

So, I’m typing all of this up as quickly as I can, for the sake of going to bed. I could wait until tomorrow, but…let’s be honest. I’m going back to sleep once the dishwasher is installed, and the strangers leave my house. Lol.

Anyway. I’m very ramble-y today. For which, I apologize.

So, some positive stuff.

I’m nearly halfway through the rewrite. 41 pages of 102 done.

And I did get some important world building stuff done this week. I made a world timeline, nailing down exact dates for important events. From the start of plagues that happened nearly 400 years prior to the story, all the way to invasions and wars that changed the landscape of the countries involved. I even figured out birthdays and…death days.

I also finally made a map. I had it in my head the whole time, of course. But seeing it on paper, rough sketch as it may be, is helpful. I’ll do a better one later, and I may even put that one online.

So, while it doesn’t feel like enough progress, it actually was a decent amount of work, given the amount of time I actually had. I suppose I should also consider the fact that no amount of progress ever meets my standards for myself.

Again, a topic for another day.

Before I go off on another rant, I’ll let you all get back to your day.

Keep reading. Keep writing.

Later.

Posted on

Death, My Darling

Hello, all!

Don’t worry. This blog post won’t be as violent as the title suggests. It’s only metaphorical murder that I speak of.

Lol.

There’s a saying most writers have heard, possibly coined by Stephen King, though I think he was actually quoting William Faulkner.

Don’t be afraid to kill your darlings.

I don’t know if that’s the original phrasing, or not, but the meaning remains the same.

As writers, we tend to get attached to particular characters, chapters, paragraphs. Perhaps, a specific turn of phrase catches our fancy, or makes us feel clever.

All of these things, all of these parts of our stories, are parts of us. They’re things that we created, things we literally pulled out of thin air, and, somehow, shaped so that meaning and images and thoughts and worlds and entire people can be put into the minds of others in the way that we imagined them.

It’s a powerful thing.

As such, there is the potential for fixation. This lends itself to the thought that any one thing, if removed from the manuscript, could drastically, and catastrophically, impact the overall story.

So, we hoard our creations, holding fast against the eroding tide of editing.

We get stingy, whether unwittingly or by stoutly refusing to adapt depends on the person. Which, in the end, proves far more detrimental to our writing than the changes we resist.

It keeps us from seeing our flaws. It holds us back from seeing the entirety of the world we’ve created, because this one particular phrase needs defended with every single scrap of attention we can spare.

And, sometimes, changing a manuscript is just downright scary.

Now, as you all know if you’ve been following my blog, I’m in the process of rewriting one of my WIPs (works in progress). It had problems. Plot holes large enough to swallow a double decker bus. Forced romance where it shouldn’t have been. Jarring cut-off points.

In the process of rewriting this week…I had to cut an entire chapter.

Which hurt.

A lot.

That chapter provided a nice bit of humor and a touch of background information for a character that was rather central. It also introduced other characters, which did nothing but hinder the plot. They play no pivotal role, and quickly became loose ends that I would have had to scramble to tie up at the end.

Not to mention…The character whose background we were gaining…has been downgraded.

So, a brief conversation was added later to cover all the vital information, and the entire chapter was killed.

Sort-of.

I saved it in another document, so it’s more like it’s been…locked in a far far far away tower, never to see the light of day. Lol.

In it’s place, there is a much better chapter which highlights a character whose role has been elevated significantly.

And I love the new chapter. Far more than the original.

FAR more.

So, my point is, for all the writers reading this, writing is a mess. Embrace that. Kill your darlings, when you need to. Save them in a separate document, just in case the original was better than the new version, but often times…you won’t need that backup, won’t want it.

For all the readers reading this, writing is a mess. Embrace the polished works wrapped up in gorgeous covers with bows and shiny bookmarks for your pleasure. Because it’s a long road, getting the story to you in a nice, cohesive, easily comprehended, pretty package.

Love them, as we writers have loved them.

We pour our souls into our books. Our time, our thoughts, our tears (yes, seriously, I cry when I write sad scenes), our joy (sometimes to the point where our fingers move too quickly over the keyboard, producing gibberish, as we rush forward, too excited to slow down), our hearts…It all goes in.

One way or another, bits of ourselves find their way into our books. Whether we intend it or not.

We just have to pick and choose which parts to send forward to the readers.

Sometimes, we have to kill our darlings.

But we end up so much better off.

Anyway, I’ve rambled on long enough. Thank you all for coming, for taking the time out of your day to read what I’ve had to say. Thank you for reading my books, if you have. If not, they’re here, on my website. *shameless plug*

Aaaaanywhoo…lol. (Don’t worry, I won’t do that again.)

Keep reading. Keep writing.

Later.

Posted on

Writing tips? Who the hell am I to give writing tips?

Hello, all!

I recently got an audio book version of one of my favorite books (I won’t say which, because I’m about to shit on it a bit. Figuratively, of course. Lol.) I put it on my phone, and have been listening to it while at work, and….it’s just stunning. It really is a perfect story, even if the writing could stand a few improvements, at least in the beginning of the book.

It has aliens and futuristic technology, primitive survival and humans on the brink of extinction, other worlds and a new vision of our world, drama and tension. Multiple romances, even a love triangle, though in this case it’s more like a square with one side collapsed so that two corners collide.

In short, the story has nearly everything that I like to read.

But hearing it spoken aloud brings writing flaws to attention. There’s a reason that one very common tip mentioned in writing groups is to read your work aloud.

Which brings me to the topic of discussion today: passive voice and copula spiders.

Basically, they’ll fuck your shit up.

Too many make your story drag on, racking up the word count without adding to the plot, or moving it forward, at all. I know how comforting a higher word count can be, believe me, but if it’s all going to be cut out in editing, it doesn’t help in the end.

Passive voice example:

The apple was eaten by Tom. (passive as hell)
Tom ate the apple. (much better)

The second sentence actually shows someone doing something. It’s active. It’s more interesting, and doesn’t pack your story with useless words. (A tip I saw in a meme recently said that if you can insert “by zombies” after your verb, you’re using passive voice. The apple was eaten…by zombies.)

Now, for copula spiders. Basically, if you search for the word “is,” or some other conjugation of the word “be,” in your manuscript, and can find more than 8 on a page, that’s a copula spider. If it’s printed, circle one, and then circle the others, connecting them all to one in the center. It’ll kinda look like a spider.

Is, am, were, was, be, been.

Look into it. They’re vicious soul suckers, and slow the story down. Don’t believe me? Here you go:

The apple is red. It is shining. The sunlight is bouncing off it.
The red apple shines brilliantly in the sunlight.

Which would you rather read?

Hell, I was able to add another word (“brilliantly”) for impact, and the second version was still shorter. Concise writing vastly improves story quality.

Let’s combine the two flaws, because they tend to go hand in hand. How about we raise the stakes while we’re at it, really drive the point home?

The gun is loaded. It is pointed at me by Tom.
Tom points the loaded gun at me.

Sweet (in theory, not in the practice of pointing guns at people), simple, and to the point (pun intended).

It just flows, so much better.

Don’t get me wrong, there are times where this can be used for emphasis. Perhaps, Tom wants to assure us that the gun is loaded. Perhaps, someone is colorblind, and has confused a fuji apple for a granny smith. They need corrected, lest they put the wrong type of apple in their pie, and someone says, “It is red.”

Similarly, passive voice can be used to emphasize parts of the sentence, and, let’s face it, people love to really drive their points home, any way they can. So, dialogue becomes a free-for-all, to a degree.

In a similar vein, first person-present tense can use these things quite effectively, if the story is written as if it were the character’s thoughts. Even then, it has to be done well.

Not to mention the potential for a troublesome character who tends to over-explain, thus limiting any possibility for concise language.

So, every rule has its exceptions.

But, for the most part, passive voice and copula spiders hinder storytelling. Burdensome and ineffectual, they slow the reader, transforming a potentially page-turning novel into a sluggish read.

That’s not exactly something most writers want.

Some stories are strong enough to pull their weight, regardless of a few extra words. The one I’ve been listening to, for example.

But not every story can bear that kind of burden.

Do yourself, your editor (and thus your wallet), and your readers a favor. Be wary of these things. When you employ them in your story, do them with great purpose, and make sure it’s obvious that you meant to do it.

We can tell when it’s an accident.

*steps down from the soap box*

*prepares to use the hell out of copulas, because at this point, I’m just talking*

On a more personal note, I want to say that rewrites are exhausting. Lol. I worked through about seven chapters of Salt and Silver, and was frustrated the whole time. I couldn’t figure out what I was doing wrong. I just knew that it wasn’t working.

Then, I realized I was holding on too tightly. To sentences. To phrases. To chapters.

To a character.

So much stuff must be cut to make room for the things I have to work in. I was trying too hard to adjust things, rather than eliminating them. But if a character’s role in the story changes…naturally the amount of time they’re given in the limelight should change, as well.

So, I head into this week’s revisions with a clearer idea of what I must do.

Wish me luck. Lol.

For now, though…

Keep reading. Keep writing.

Later.

Posted on

My Writing Process

Clutter. Crossed wires. Messy. Tangled wires on a telephone pole.

Hello, all!

This was a week of decision making. At least, as far as one of my WIPs (works in progress) is concerned.

Now, I’ just about done editing/reacquainting myself with what I have written of The Regonia Chronicles. Book one is edited (first sweep, I’ll do more later before submissions), and four of the…seven or eight chapters I’ve already written of book two are edited.

As such, I’ll be diving back into writing that one very soon. Which I’m looking forward to. There’s a lot to be written, and I’m pretty pleased with how one of the character arcs is turning out.

Salt and Silver, though…

I finished writing the first novella and even the scene which connects it to the second novella. but I hate this wonky format, and the shift in perspective forced upon me by the ending of the first novella makes the whole story fall flat.

Now, before I say much more on the subject, I should probably tell you a bit about how I write.

Some authors are incredibly organized. Some even use the “snowflake method,” which, I believe, goes as follows:
1. Write a sentence containing the story you wish to tell.
2. Expand that one sentence summary into a paragraph with all main plot points.
3. Come up with basic info for your main characters.
4. Turn that single paragraph mentioned above into a page.
5. Do a thing called character bibles and character synopses, which entails writing a full page about each main character (background, personality traits, appearance, etc.) and half a page per minor character.
6. Use everything from steps 1-5 to make a four page synopsis and scene list (EVERY SCENE!!).

THEN, you start your first draft.

Some people spend YEARS just planning their novel. Which is fine. If it works for you, keep doing it.

But to me, quite frankly, that sounds exhausting, and extremely confining. Such a restrictive, planned method seems…suffocating.

I don’t do any of that stuff from the snowflake method.

At all.

There are a few names for my writing style. Discovery, exploratory, organic. I prefer pantser (flying by the seat of my pants).

I get an idea, and start writing.

Period.

Then, I just figure out the details, and build the world and the characters as I go. Usually, i have a vague idea of how the story will end, with a few scenes I know I want to include, though everything is subject to change, at any point in time.

I keep a separate document for important information, like character or world description, a basic timeline (established/filled in as I go), things like that. But aside from main characters, I rarely know the appearance or background before starting. Sometimes, all I know of my main characters is there appearance and a single defining trait. I just make sure to put details in the other document as I come across them, so I can reference that, and avoid continuity errors.

Basically, I make it all up as I go, letting the characters and the details of the story reveal themselves to me as I write. It’s just more fun for me that way.

Only about 20% is ever really planned before I start writing.

Salt and Silver had about 2% planned. If that.

I had the opening scene, which has been revised several times over to incorporate details which eliminate plot holes later on. I had the aesthetics and names of two main characters, but only because they’re in that scene.

Nothing else.

By far, this has been my least organized WIP to date.

(Side note: My writing style frustrates my husband. Lol. He likes to see the process, and pictures me with a room with notes tacked to the wall with strings tied from one pin to another, making a huge mess. But I keep all that in my head. Lol.)

But now, I’ve hit a snag.

Those of you who follow my blog might remember a little mention of a song which sparked an idea for this story a couple weeks ago. I resisted, stupidly enough, and came up with the janky novella-scene-novella format to “solve” the issues.

I was already almost done with the first novella, and didn’t want to rewrite nearly 40,000 words. But the final scene, the one where the couple finally gets together, was such a chore to write, and I didn’t know why. Usually, I love writing that scene to wrap up a book.

But the story was broken.

And now…I have to rewrite. There’s no way around it.

I thought I was going to have to kill off a couple characters, too. But, a few days of agonizing over it while at work helped me figure out a way to use those characters (alive) to drive the story forward. Monotonous, labor intensive factory work is great for working through writer’s block. Seriously.

They now have the ability to pull their own weight in the story, creating all kinds of extra tension and conflict for a prolonged amount of time, rather than just, “BAM! They’re dead! Everyone’s sad. Ope, time to move on.”

Yay, torture! Lol.

Jk.

But seriously, that’s the best advice I’ve ever heard about writing. Find out what your character wants (sometimes it takes a while to figure it out), and then do everything you can think of to keep them from getting it.

Long story short, I’ve solved the problem. I just have to rewrite/reshape 40,000 words to implement the solution… I’ve already started, though, and it flows so much better.

Since I’ll be doing a major overhaul of Salt and Silver at the same time as writing The Regonia Chronicles, I should probably try to maintain a schedule. Sunday night/Monday afternoon will be blog time. Monday night will be Salt and Silver. Tuesday night will be Regonia. Wednesday night will be submissions and/or whichever story is calling to me.

By the way, if you couldn’t tell, I’m a night time writer.

The rest of the week is all work, though. Actually, Sunday is a 12 hour shift at the factory, but I normally start my blog after work, regardless.

Anyway, though, I’ve got a lot of work ahead of me, but I’m genuinely excited about all of it. Salt and Silver will be so much better for it.

So, for now…

Keep reading. Keep writing.

Later.

Posted on

Using Social Anxiety as a Shield

Hi, everyone!

Yet another unproductive week. Only about 1400 words typed. I polished off a chapter, and started another. I have the rest of that one written out (just not typed yet), which officially brings Salt and Silver to a close.

Which is pretty exciting.

I began the scene that will connect it to the next novella in the series as well, and made it halfway through that (also handwritten). The format of this series is odd, though. I get the feeling that finding a publisher or agent willing to look at it will be difficult…Most places don’t want novellas, let alone novellas connected by single scenes…

It may have to be another self-published work.

At any rate, I still have a long way to go on the rest of the series, and have to decide now which series to give my writing time to, as I’m just about done editing Awakening, Book one of the Regonia Chronicles.

Now, then.

The reason I typed so little this week…

I was social.

That’s a rare thing for me. I went out with friends twice last week, in addition to going to the gym with my husband and one of our friends.

(Don’t worry, I’m not going to start talking health stuff, and talking your ear off about meal prepping. I’m only doing this gym stuff because I’m tired of the crease in my side. The top of my hourglass is holding hands with the bottom half, and I don’t like that. Lol. Some women can pull off that look, but I’m not one of them.)

But I digress. Back to the socializing thing.

For those of you who don’t know me personally, I’m…not a people person. I never have been. And I mean NEVER. I found out recently from my mom that the reason I was in preschool for two years (started a year early) was to help me socialize. Even then, I apparently didn’t talk to the teachers for the first year and a half. Then, when it came time for kindergarten placement testing, I refused to talk to them, and they thought I needed special ed. Mom asked me the questions, I passed, and went on to standard kindergarten…where I refused to talk to the teacher for the first 3/4 of the year. Lmao.

I did fine with my school work. I just…wouldn’t talk.

And then, I just kinda…stayed that way. Sort of.

I’m better about it, now, at the ripe old age of 28. I talk to people when they ask me questions. But I still don’t start conversations with strangers. People I’m comfortable with, sure, I’ll talk to them somewhat easily, so long as no one else is present. Though, it takes a while for me to get comfortable, and usually that puts people off, chasing them away before I actually open up.

Social anxiety has been a plague for most of my life, as have a few other anxiety disorders, such as Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, though that one was triggered by trauma.

You see, being blatantly unsocial as a child made me an easy target. For a lot of things, really. Bullying being one of them. The people who did that are completely different people, now though, as am I, and we actually get along. Which is not something I ever, ever expected.

But the thing that brought on crippling (yes, I mean crippling) OCD is that I was molested as a child. It feels a bit weird to just lay that out there like this, but I mention being sexually abused in the afterword of my novella, Annabelle. So…it’s kinda already out there for the world to see.

After it happened, I didn’t tell anyone for years. Because I couldn’t. I couldn’t talk to people about normal stuff without feeling like a disappointment, let alone something so…disastrous. I couldn’t explain why I couldn’t stomach being touched, or why I immediately had to wash. I couldn’t explain why I spiraled into a fit of incoherent, rage-fueled tears if I couldn’t get to a sink or get my hands on some antibacterial wipes or lotion or whatever.

I couldn’t explain why my hands were so dry that the knuckles cracked open, and bled, or why I couldn’t stop washing them, knowing it would make it worse. I couldn’t explain why I opened doors with my wrists, or refused to touch remotes (which is why I never watched tv or movies, or played video games until college/after college).

I couldn’t explain why I was so tired, because no one knew I laid awake in bed, waiting for everyone else to fall asleep so I could get up, wash my bed clothes because the cat or dog brushed the blanket with their tail, get a shower, step onto a clean towel, put on socks before stepping off said towel, sanitize the tv remotes, wait for the sheets and blankets to be dry while curled up in a ball on a clean towel in the living room floor (with the socks removed as I stepped onto this new clean towel) watching reruns of The Nanny and (ironically) The Cosby Show, until I could finally make my bed, and get some sleep. The fact that my hands would have been washed at least once after or during each step of that process also went unnoticed.

Sadly enough, the part of it all that makes it so terrible (my young age), also helped me. Had I been older, had I needed to hold down a job, I wouldn’t have been able to. No one wants a cashier who can’t touch money, or who screams/cries when she can’t wash her hands.

But I could be a good student. No one else touched my pencils, or my paper, or my books.

And since people assume that good grades are an indicator of good coping abilities, my straight A’s joined forces with my previously established anti-social nature to keep me under the radar for years. No one ever suspects that straight A’s might mean that a person who finds school to be easy is using that very misconception of good coping mechanisms to hide, or that maybe they’re just terrified of getting a B because they’d feel like a horrific disappointment if they did get one, even if they know, rationally, that B’s aren’t bad grades.

But OCD and social anxiety don’t give a damn about rational.

So, I kept my grades up, kept my head down, and drifted along, secretly drowning.

Eventually, I got tired of the OCD, and got tired of being miserable and wanting to die every day for years, and did something drastic. There’s this technique for dealing with OCD and phobias called flooding. I didn’t know what I was doing back then, but I put myself through it. It’s definitely not a best case scenario. Essentially, I touched a bunch of things my OCD determined to be dirty, and then touched everything in my room, effectively ruining my sanctuary.

This, obviously, has the potential to backfire, and result in panic and massive anxiety, followed by hysterical cleaning.

But I got through it, and started dealing with the OCD. A while later (a couple years) I actually started telling people (after someone else confessed to me that they’d been abused, which told me that I wasn’t alone), and I got into counselling.

It’s been an unbelievably long journey to get to where I am, and there’s still so far left to go…

But I’m trying.

So, this past week, I was social.

I didn’t do as much typing as I probably should have. But it was for the best.

Sometimes, you just have to step away from the computer, get out of your sanctuary, and be with people. Even if it’s difficult.

And sometimes, you have to talk. Typing this up has been….difficult. The internet provides a nice little barrier, though. A bit of anonymity, if you will, even if this is on my website, with my name clearly printed atop it. Because I’m not saying all of this to someone in person, I’m not staring into someone’s eyes while I lay everything out there. I don’t know who will read this, or how many people will see it. It could be no one, it could be one person, maybe hundreds of people.

But if one person sees this, and thinks, “I’m not alone…”

If one person finds strength in these words…

Then, it’s worth the lump in my throat, the butterflies in my stomach, and the knots in my shoulders as I pour my heart out, or, rather, type it out.

*sigh*

Anyway, I don’t know how productive I’ll be this coming week, given that some of my family is visiting from Texas, and of course, I have work and overtime. But, I’ll keep you guys posted.

Thanks for taking the time to read this. It’s been a much more revealing post than usual…I just hope someone comes away from it with that little bit of strength that they need.

Because, it doesn’t stay terrible forever.

Even if it feels that way sometimes.

For now, though, I’ll be signing off.

Keep reading. Keep writing.

Later.